Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
