Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
