we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
