You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
