My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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