well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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