She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
