So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
