Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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