I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
