All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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