I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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