i just wanna soil my oats bro
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
