just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
