And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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