so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
