I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
