Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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