she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Man, jail baloney is awful.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
