i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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