Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
