He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like a drive thru vagina
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
