come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
