better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
