i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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