I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
