I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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