why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
