i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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