I got chris browned last night
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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