I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
