It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
