fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
