Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dont even know how to be here
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We are all done wearing pants today
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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