Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
