Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
