this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
