the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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