i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
