so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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