I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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