I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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