I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I want her autograph on my taint
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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