you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
