This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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