in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
