I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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