It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
