good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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