the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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